OVFF Report
Oct. 25th, 2010 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
judifilksign As a local, and low on money, I commuted an hour back and forth to the con this weekend, which means I missed a lot of the late night stuff so I'd be safe to drive.
Friday, I signed the Pegasus Concert, and felt I did quite well this year. S.J. Tucker really sang a song I rather disliked in a way that made it AWESOME, and amazing. She really deserves the Pegasus for Best Performer, in my humble opinion.
I felt that I really, really channeled "The Face That Launched 1,000 Ships." I was near tears from the emotion of it by the end of the song. Several people in the audience told me they'd cried when they saw me do it. Made for the win! (But it will be strange to have future Pegasus Award shows without it in it, much like not having to sign "Stray Dog Man" by Bill Sutton.)
After the Pegasus, I was pretty whipped, so I didn't even get into any of the filk circles. I ended up talking to so many of my friends, though. It was really nice.
Saturday, Kathleen Sloan asked me to sing something for her listener's concert, and asked Juliana to do so as well, so we put on our We're Not Koi hats with Douglas and backed one another up! I was terrified that my thumb would not be up to playing two songs in a row, but we made it through. A few people were surprised I sang, and told me I should do more of it, which made me feel pretty good.
I did sign for Randy and Kira, with their new group.
T.J. and Mitch had a great concert.
Urban Tapestry had a great concert.
Sooj had a great concert.
Bedlam Bards had a great concert.
Every concert I went to was awesome. Music was wonderful this year. (As it usually is...)
The songwriting concerts were totally enjoyable, and I got to sit next to my best friend from middle school and high school. It made me very, very happy. Having been thinking of bullying this week, and having worn purple on Saturday, I told him how much of a difference he'd made for me back then, (much to his discomfort.)
I also told Tom Smith "thank you" for standing up to someone rude twenty five years ago that had told me that no one wanted to hear ME sing; they wanted to hear Julia, and I should just shut up or go away. That woman's comment stuck with me for years and years. It took Judith at FKO 2006 saying "You can sing, sing sing sing sing sing sing!" to me, and Juliana taking me under her wing before I tried my voice at filks again. At the time, as a teen, I was ready to never come back to a con again, much less filk. But Tom'd torn into that woman (long ago gone away herself) and I stayed in fandom largely due to his instant defense. As I told Tom, who was trying to deflect my thanks, his rant meant I stayed with the people who became my family of choice. I said this with tears running down my cheeks, and pointed at everyone in the ballroom, our filk family. ( I may have totally freaked Tom out with my emoting, though...)
I went out to eat Saturday with a wonderful group of folks at a very posh restaurant. I felt spoiled rotten. The company and the food were most excellent.
I discovered that Sparkle had pulled the music book that I'd put all the songs that I can actually play out of my music backpack. So I was very ambivalent about playing in circles. When I started being weirdly emotional, I decided that I needed to go home to crash, before being too tired might make me crash on the way home.
Sunday, I spent a lot of time again talking to so many of the people I love.
When I was sitting in consuite, nursing some hot tea, I got into a conversation about bullying, and conventions. One of the participants in the conversation had read a private post of a mutual friend, and one of my replies about a nasty comment someone had made to me at a previous OVFF. Everyone at the table was quite indignant upon my behalf. I had just finished saying that I hadn't even seen the woman who'd been rude present at the con this year, and that I expected that no one would do such a thing again, when...
Up to the table came a person dressed all in black from head to toe. This person, with whom I have no prior acquaintance, stopped in front of me, and declared, loudly, "Judi, you haven't entertained us enough this weekend. You weren't in any of the open filks this weekend signing anyone's songs."
There was a looooong pause while I swallowed my mouthful of tea instead of spit-taking it. I turned to the commenter, and said in bitchy teacher voice "No, this weekend, aside from the Pegasus concert, I have spent mostly talking with my friends rather than dropping everything to attend to the whims of those who want me to entertain them." The black-clad accuser reacted as if I had actually delivered a slap across the face, and physically dropped their head, and slouched away. The woman seated to the left of me glowered at me as if I had been the bully in that interaction. I started feeling as though I'd used a sledgehammer to take care of an ant.
My darling husband is of the opinion that the black-clad commenter was not trying to bully me, but was perhaps trying to compliment me by wishing for more of stuff that was kewl. The commenter was just socially inept. Then my comments crushed him, because it ran counter to his expectations. Having missed the actual conversation, he thinks it is a plausible explanation of events. (This still makes ME feel like I was the mean one...)
I bounced back big time, though, at the Jam. I was able to play along during several songs on Burton the Banjo!! (I had not been able to do so on guitar in previous years.) I was able to follow Barry or Tom from Stone Dragon as they fingered chords, and translate into what chords I should play on the banjo. Tom noticed me doing this from across the room, and I could tell he modified his noodling so that I could more easily do this. Thank you, Tom! Still, I seriously impressed myself. I also got to dance to an amazing drumming song, too. I had a number of nice comments about that, some of which were from people NOT flirting outrageously with me. I hope it DOES become a tradition at OVFF.
Mark and Will and I went to Jeni's ice cream (nom nom nom) before hooking up with the annual Mongolian BBQ Sunday dinner run (more nom nom nom).
I did hang out a bit at the Dead Dog, at least until nine. I got to eat dark chocolate covered pomegranate pips....oh, bliss! Sitting next to Amy, I made her blush when I told her she was transcendently beautiful when she plays, and is so into it, that her joy just flows to others. I left just after signing "Wicked Girls."
Many thanks to my darling, darling husband, who made it possible for me to go this weekend on such a shoestring budget. I woke on Monday with hardly any voice and a case of con crud. I apologize to anyone I infected Sunday with all the hugging and kissing goodbye.
Friday, I signed the Pegasus Concert, and felt I did quite well this year. S.J. Tucker really sang a song I rather disliked in a way that made it AWESOME, and amazing. She really deserves the Pegasus for Best Performer, in my humble opinion.
I felt that I really, really channeled "The Face That Launched 1,000 Ships." I was near tears from the emotion of it by the end of the song. Several people in the audience told me they'd cried when they saw me do it. Made for the win! (But it will be strange to have future Pegasus Award shows without it in it, much like not having to sign "Stray Dog Man" by Bill Sutton.)
After the Pegasus, I was pretty whipped, so I didn't even get into any of the filk circles. I ended up talking to so many of my friends, though. It was really nice.
Saturday, Kathleen Sloan asked me to sing something for her listener's concert, and asked Juliana to do so as well, so we put on our We're Not Koi hats with Douglas and backed one another up! I was terrified that my thumb would not be up to playing two songs in a row, but we made it through. A few people were surprised I sang, and told me I should do more of it, which made me feel pretty good.
I did sign for Randy and Kira, with their new group.
T.J. and Mitch had a great concert.
Urban Tapestry had a great concert.
Sooj had a great concert.
Bedlam Bards had a great concert.
Every concert I went to was awesome. Music was wonderful this year. (As it usually is...)
The songwriting concerts were totally enjoyable, and I got to sit next to my best friend from middle school and high school. It made me very, very happy. Having been thinking of bullying this week, and having worn purple on Saturday, I told him how much of a difference he'd made for me back then, (much to his discomfort.)
I also told Tom Smith "thank you" for standing up to someone rude twenty five years ago that had told me that no one wanted to hear ME sing; they wanted to hear Julia, and I should just shut up or go away. That woman's comment stuck with me for years and years. It took Judith at FKO 2006 saying "You can sing, sing sing sing sing sing sing!" to me, and Juliana taking me under her wing before I tried my voice at filks again. At the time, as a teen, I was ready to never come back to a con again, much less filk. But Tom'd torn into that woman (long ago gone away herself) and I stayed in fandom largely due to his instant defense. As I told Tom, who was trying to deflect my thanks, his rant meant I stayed with the people who became my family of choice. I said this with tears running down my cheeks, and pointed at everyone in the ballroom, our filk family. ( I may have totally freaked Tom out with my emoting, though...)
I went out to eat Saturday with a wonderful group of folks at a very posh restaurant. I felt spoiled rotten. The company and the food were most excellent.
I discovered that Sparkle had pulled the music book that I'd put all the songs that I can actually play out of my music backpack. So I was very ambivalent about playing in circles. When I started being weirdly emotional, I decided that I needed to go home to crash, before being too tired might make me crash on the way home.
Sunday, I spent a lot of time again talking to so many of the people I love.
When I was sitting in consuite, nursing some hot tea, I got into a conversation about bullying, and conventions. One of the participants in the conversation had read a private post of a mutual friend, and one of my replies about a nasty comment someone had made to me at a previous OVFF. Everyone at the table was quite indignant upon my behalf. I had just finished saying that I hadn't even seen the woman who'd been rude present at the con this year, and that I expected that no one would do such a thing again, when...
Up to the table came a person dressed all in black from head to toe. This person, with whom I have no prior acquaintance, stopped in front of me, and declared, loudly, "Judi, you haven't entertained us enough this weekend. You weren't in any of the open filks this weekend signing anyone's songs."
There was a looooong pause while I swallowed my mouthful of tea instead of spit-taking it. I turned to the commenter, and said in bitchy teacher voice "No, this weekend, aside from the Pegasus concert, I have spent mostly talking with my friends rather than dropping everything to attend to the whims of those who want me to entertain them." The black-clad accuser reacted as if I had actually delivered a slap across the face, and physically dropped their head, and slouched away. The woman seated to the left of me glowered at me as if I had been the bully in that interaction. I started feeling as though I'd used a sledgehammer to take care of an ant.
My darling husband is of the opinion that the black-clad commenter was not trying to bully me, but was perhaps trying to compliment me by wishing for more of stuff that was kewl. The commenter was just socially inept. Then my comments crushed him, because it ran counter to his expectations. Having missed the actual conversation, he thinks it is a plausible explanation of events. (This still makes ME feel like I was the mean one...)
I bounced back big time, though, at the Jam. I was able to play along during several songs on Burton the Banjo!! (I had not been able to do so on guitar in previous years.) I was able to follow Barry or Tom from Stone Dragon as they fingered chords, and translate into what chords I should play on the banjo. Tom noticed me doing this from across the room, and I could tell he modified his noodling so that I could more easily do this. Thank you, Tom! Still, I seriously impressed myself. I also got to dance to an amazing drumming song, too. I had a number of nice comments about that, some of which were from people NOT flirting outrageously with me. I hope it DOES become a tradition at OVFF.
Mark and Will and I went to Jeni's ice cream (nom nom nom) before hooking up with the annual Mongolian BBQ Sunday dinner run (more nom nom nom).
I did hang out a bit at the Dead Dog, at least until nine. I got to eat dark chocolate covered pomegranate pips....oh, bliss! Sitting next to Amy, I made her blush when I told her she was transcendently beautiful when she plays, and is so into it, that her joy just flows to others. I left just after signing "Wicked Girls."
Many thanks to my darling, darling husband, who made it possible for me to go this weekend on such a shoestring budget. I woke on Monday with hardly any voice and a case of con crud. I apologize to anyone I infected Sunday with all the hugging and kissing goodbye.
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 09:32 pm (UTC)I look forward to when I see you at Contata next summer and I do plan to sit down and enjoy your singing. (Which I enjoy listening to when I am not busy running around a convention.)
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 10:15 pm (UTC)It was great seeing you, it was great seeing you sign, and it was great hearing you. And that's wonderful about playing Burton so well at the jam--I'm very impressed. I would like to get better at that.
I think you're right that the Person In Black may have meant it as a compliment and since you were in the context of thinking about bullying and mean things people sometimes do, you interpreted it as an attempt to control you.
But, you know, if the PIB meant it as a compliment it was poorly phrased. And having people misinterpret something that is poorly phrased does happen, and can be a chance to learn. I strongly believe you wouldn't have reacted that way if you hadn't happened to be in that particular mood just then, OR if you had known the person enough to know it was meant as a compliment.
Even you can have a bad day, and not live up to your usual high standards for dealing with strangers, and (hug) that's okay. We'll hope it was a learning experience for the PIB and not some lasting trauma.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:08 am (UTC)Still, I don't like snapping like that. I like to do the French guerrilla politeness thing instead, and out-dignify rudenesses. End of the con is not the best time to be quick-witted, though.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 11:15 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed "Come Down"! Sooj and I both love that song, and I especially love that it gives us a chance to feature the drummers, so we'll keep doing it (and hopefully develop more people who know it well enough to lead if Sooj and/or I aren't there) as long as people keep asking for it! :-)
It was good to see you playing the banjo and having fun in the jam... I could tell from the look on your face that you'd found a comfortable spot and were enjoying what you were doing.
(Also, I don't think there was anything wrong w/ your response to the person in black. Unfortunately, anyone who could make that comment has already demonstrated a complete lack of social nicety, and it takes a sledgehammer to get through to people like that. *sigh*)
(Edited to add a missed closing paren.)
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:04 am (UTC)I was so very happy to play along on the banjo. I'd tried playing along on a guitar in previous years, and was unable to. This year, watching the guitarists, I was able to identify the chords, and then make the banjo chords, AND keep up!
This was internally very impressive to me, the more so because I'd had surgery on my thumb in late August, and it's been slow going getting the grip strength back to chord. I was so happy!
no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-26 12:15 am (UTC)I had a similar compliment delivered *completely* effectively once by Jeff Bohnhoff, who commented on a Sunday at OVFF that he hadn't heard me play that weekend. And I said something like I'd been mostly just listening to other people. He got this big grin and said with a twinkle in his eye "But that doesn't help us!"
He was very clearly delivering the compliment that this person might have been trying to do. But he did it in a way that made me feel warm and fuzzy - like "Oh, someone actually missed me in a circle." Not "My god, bitch, why weren't you entertaining us?" which is how your person comes across. I think sometimes people need to learn that, while intent matters, presentation matters too. So it might be that she had a great intent, but her presentation was horrid. And I think you have a right to react to that.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-26 02:15 am (UTC)Well, you haven't entertained us at ALL lately! Hows about that?
Seriously, darlin', although you may have reacted a bit more, um, how shall I put this? ... sharply than you might have otherwise, it is not acceptable to approach a performer, no matter how much you admire them, and demand that they do more to entertain you. You had every right to react to that occurence, even if it was in a sharper tone/wording than you might use normally, in a manner which points out that unacceptable nature.
Social skills are not optional in life, even in fandom, although it often seems that is the case. Sometimes it takes a sledgehammer to get that point across.
Sounds like the con was lovely. Sigh. Some day soon we hope to start getting to more cons again.
Hugs to all.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:00 am (UTC)Thanks for the support.
*HUG*
Date: 2010-10-26 02:22 am (UTC)It may fall in the category of "flirting outrageously", at least in your opinion, but you I found your dancing to be completely in line with your singing, playing, and signing - exceptional, radiant and beautiful to behold.
It has ever been so, in my observation.
I too would like to see a drum heavy song become part of the Jam tradition, it adds an amazing positive energy to the arena.
So very pleased to have gotten to spend some time talking with you, and more watching and listening to you.
Be Well
-M
Re: *HUG*
Date: 2010-10-28 12:56 am (UTC)The trick to dancing is not to worry what you look like while you do it. (Like signing humor.)
And being transcendently happy while doing it...makes other people join in for the fun!
no subject
Date: 2010-10-26 07:08 pm (UTC)I'm really looking forward to having you as our GoH at Contata, oh, you woman of many talents. We promise not to nag you for extra awesome.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 12:53 am (UTC)Could you let the Contata instrument wranglers know that I'll be needing to borrow a tenor four-string banjo next year at the con?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 12:37 am (UTC)Which song was that, out of curiosity?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-28 12:51 am (UTC)And the awesome way in which SooJ sang it made MANY people rear back and remember why this song was great, and how glorious it was when sung RIGHT, and it won the Best Classic Filk of 2010.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 05:14 am (UTC)