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Perceptions of Vanity
Jan. 26th, 2009 03:14 pmIn general conversation, a friend commented that my married life was comparable to that of television show Dharma and Greg, because I'm so bohemian and my darling husband so conservative.
My reply? "Sure, except for the part where Dharma is tall, thin and beautiful, and I'm not."
So now I have a bunch of folks on my back for slamming myself. In vain do I try to explain my scale of 1-10 beauty, where I consider myself a 6/7 - "above average" due to sheer chipperness and fun, like Lucille Ball and Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island. Folks want me to believe myself prettier than that.
I don't believe that I'm ugly; but I do believe that I am not top ten model runway worthy either. I want to lose weight for diabetes health-related reasons, and I'm not beating myself up. I think I'm keeping it real by thinking myself pretty and likeable without lying to myself that I'm anything other than that.
I think I'm okay how I am. Is it low self esteem to not think of oneself as beautiful? My husband has never treated me as any sexier or more or less attractive as I bounce up and down in weight, and he's the only one for whom I want to be my best looking for.
These folks bugging me to up my opinion of myself are making me feel less pretty, not more, and more insecure of how I view myself.
Any perspective?
My reply? "Sure, except for the part where Dharma is tall, thin and beautiful, and I'm not."
So now I have a bunch of folks on my back for slamming myself. In vain do I try to explain my scale of 1-10 beauty, where I consider myself a 6/7 - "above average" due to sheer chipperness and fun, like Lucille Ball and Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island. Folks want me to believe myself prettier than that.
I don't believe that I'm ugly; but I do believe that I am not top ten model runway worthy either. I want to lose weight for diabetes health-related reasons, and I'm not beating myself up. I think I'm keeping it real by thinking myself pretty and likeable without lying to myself that I'm anything other than that.
I think I'm okay how I am. Is it low self esteem to not think of oneself as beautiful? My husband has never treated me as any sexier or more or less attractive as I bounce up and down in weight, and he's the only one for whom I want to be my best looking for.
These folks bugging me to up my opinion of myself are making me feel less pretty, not more, and more insecure of how I view myself.
Any perspective?
